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Prayers
We honor the name of His Noodleyness in prayers. We also use these prayers in rituals and in celebrations to His Noodleyness. Here are a few of the established prayers by by the Flying Spaghetti Monster himself: The first I believe that Thou art the Creator of Goodness and Nourishment, and of Sustenance. I thank the Pasta, and the Sauce, and the Meatballs, for they provide me all my needs. I thank Thee for the Many Beverages that Thou providest, for they engender true fellowship, and I will quaff them heartily, be they Beer, or Wine, or Sweet Iced Tea (in the South), or even Milk or Kool-Aid, for it is not good to withhold fluids, and I need to take care of my Body, as Beneficiary of Thine Holy Goodness. I thank Thee for the giving of healthful Green Salad, the Yummy Garlic Bread, and the Blessed Cheese for the top of my Spaghetti, and also I am most thankful that If I eat All my Dinner, a Dessert of Extreme Chocolateness will surely follow, preferably Dark Chocolate, for it is Good. I believe that Thou art neither Male, nor Female, but art instead beyond the reaches of the gender confusion of Man and Woman Kind, yea, Thou art ageless, timeless, and all-encompassing. I most humbly thank Thee, oh Noodly Appendaged One, for Touching me with the mental capacity to adapt the mythologies of This Universe to aid and comfort me here, until that day I am able to join together with my Pastafarian Brothers and Sisters at the foot of the Beer Volcano, and enumerate my specifications at the Stripper Factory, so that happiness and contentedness and good cheer be present for all, forever and forever. R'amen. Our pasta Our Pasta, who “Arghh” in heaven, Swallowed be thy shame. Thy Midgit come. Thy Sauce be yum, On top some grated Parmesan. Give us this day our garlic bread. And give us our cutlasses, As we swashbuckle, splice the main-brace and cuss. And lead us into temptation, But deliver us some Pizza. For thine are The pasta, The sauce, and the Meatballs, for ever and ever. R'amen. Hail marinara Hail Marinara, Full of Spice, The Flying Spaghetti Monster is filled with Thee. Tasty art Thou amongst sauces, and blessed is the fruit of thy jar, tomatoes (although fools believe they are vegetables). Holy Marinara, Chief Amongst Toppings, Save a plate for us now, and at about 6 o’clock when dinner is served, if you would be so kind. Thy praise Praise, for we taste sauce, from which all spices flow Praise for we drink up, ye Pirates here below. Praise Until the Kansas School Board calls. Praise Noodles, Sauce, and Meaty Balls. Glob Oh Great Glob. Send forth your wriggly, jiggly, noodly appendages. For your touch does inspire much Globliness For Cleanliness is closer to Globliness. Oh My Glob Shall your meat balls pulsate with much glee. For your eye stalks do not look like a snail (much) And Glob Bless the Righteous. Oh Mighty Glob Shall all our charitable work be with religious catch. For we shall only help those we can potentially convert And great returns shall be reaped from our investments. Oh Blessed Glob Shall we tell others our religion is much better For they are wrong and we right And their conversion doth bring much noodly joy. Oh Omnipotent Glob Gamma globulin is a protein found in human plasma For I knew that would impress Thee… And make me look like a smarty pants in your eye (stalk) Oh Righteous Glob Send forth your men in white coats. For much religious writing has yea verily sent me mad And I shall dwell in the House of Loony for many a day Oh Venerable GlobGlob, Glob, GlobGlobby, Globby, GlobbyGlob, Glob, Glob, Glob. R'amen. O´ Divine one As has been proclaimed by the Pirates, Ahoy! for a New Age has come. Let the printed idols fall before the Awesome might of the Noodle! Let there be singing in the streets and countrysides of the great divinity that is The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Let the Saviors of the past degenerate into the myths they are. Let Boyardee be raised up and with a mighty “Arrr” let the Holy Land be found. And once there, let a great monument to the Midget, the Mountain, and the Tree be built and consecrated in the name of the image of the Skull and Crossbones. The Swords are drawn. The flags are waving. And the ships are coming to assault the port of Untruth! Pillaging, plundering, and wenching will commence, and when that is done, a great cloud of saucey awesomeness will billow in the image of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the highest and most powerful Noodle! R'amen. Category:Rituals